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December, 4th 2004
I was browsing through my old livejournal, which is more embarrassing than not, and I happened upon this story I wrote in 2004. I like to think my writing has evolved from there. I guess this is throwback Friday?William paced the room of his cottage over and over, trying to find an answer. He had spent all of this morning and most of tonight thinking about it. He explored and ripped out every crevice of his mind looking for answers.
"Maybe there aren't any", he thought to himself. "No...there has to be something I'm missing."
The cottage was small and dark with only the light of the moon shining into the corner. William had come from a rich background, his mother and father both noblemen of France. This cottage was all he had to escape from that life. With the constant attention and public appearances, he had no time at all to think. This tiny little cottage in the woods was a lot different from the palace in Marseille. There he had servants, extravagant bedroom sets, the finest food and wine, quality clothing. Lately there seemed little meaning for any of it. The wine had lost its taste, the clothing seemed bland, and the expensive silk on his bed seemed excessive.
Being a nobleman himself, he was naturally brought up to be a man of god. A few nights ago, however, his mother was shocked to hear him speaking the way he did. "Where does god come from? Why did he create us? Do you truly believe, mother? Why do we have to live like this? Is that part of god's plan too? How can you be so sure?"
William was perfectly horrified by it all. Ever since the death of his sister he had questioned the existence of god. This night, however, he would find his answer. He spent all night reading through the bible, various historical accounts, and recent scientific writings. He found nothing.
After hours of pacing, he found rest on the floor in the corner where the moon shown through. He looked up at the moon and the stars the way he had never looked at them before. "What reason have you for doing this to me?", he screamed into the night. "WHY?"
He found that life was meaningless. There was no need for rank or class, just the self. Pain, suffering, dying, guilt, money - it was all meaningless. He would never find any answers, even in death. This was absolutely terrifying. He stood up and burst out the door, running through the woods as fast as he could. He didn't know what he had hoped to find, death perhaps. William was in tears now. He refused to believe it, but every option led to the same conclusion. There are no answers in life, there are no answers in death. He would never know. William was breathing very heavily by now. His bones ached, and he collapsed. He remembered seeing something in the wind, a shadow....perhaps a wolf was coming to take him, just before he passed out.
He awoke by a fire. He was lying on a mattress in a small room with no floor, only the ground beneath. There was a fireplace to his right, and to his left a barred window. The room smelled of fine brandy and biscuits. He also noticed a stone staircase directly in front of him. "Where am I?", he thought. He felt a pain througout his body, and a certain numbness that he had never felt before. The pain of his thoughts still lingered like the foul stench of a rotting corpse. "This has to be some sort of dream."
"You are not dreaming", he heard a voice say to him. William was startled. He scanned the room for someone, but found nothing. "Life has no meaning anymore, does it? I've been watching you William. You are a beautiful creature you know."
"Who are you? Why have you brought me here?"
"Do not be alarmed, I'm not going to harm you. I actually have a gift for you."
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